The Valley Band Department: Underneath the Skin
Booze bottle him-self. "Folks these sounds dont belong in this room"..."the picilli" (lol that word kills me) "need to be heard". Well for those of you who dont know who i am talking about, it would be Mr. Garmoe. The should be recovering alcoholic (but not since he wont admit he has a problem) is the head of the Valley Band department. Yeah yeah i know I am out of high school but a bad week made me think of all the bad ones i had in high school due to his shitty attitude. I am not going to lie, I never cared for G-funk. He was anal, bi-polar, and just straight up an asshole. He doesnt get that we are high school students. "We must sounds like a college band and blah blah blah...." You can fill in the blah blah blah's with what you think he would say. He doesnt understand that not everyone takes band a seriously as he does. He almost ruins band with his anal perfection. He just doesnt get it. Maybe it is all the alcohol he crams down his throat once school is done, that effects his head but christ on a cracker, he need to chill out. Furthermore, G-funk needs to that he is not God. Never has he been and never will he be God, but i guess since you are down in the band hall you must listen to every fucking word he says. well you know what fuck that. I can sit in any room i damn well please and play when i wanna play (oh no i am sound like the fag Randy Moss...shit). Band is not a team game. Because if you notice the "A" team is in Garmoe's band and when someone isnt good enought to play in the "A" band he cuts them. Moves them down to the shitty band to prove his band superiority. And sooner or later you will see his bi-polar disorder kick in. Happy, mad, happy, mad, drunk/happy, mad. I mean fuck what is the deal. Go on some medication for this shit, and stop drinking. How can someone have mood swings like this and not try medication to help. Does his wife not see it? And how can his kid put up with him. Jesus if i was his kid i think i would put my self up for adoption. I couldnt deal with it. Wow, i am really sorry for all the swearin' but a bad couple of days does this to me. Maybe i was not ment to understand how Garmoe works, i dont think i was. Just one more rant. His looks say it all. I had a friend in high school who just couldnt take anything seriously that came out of Garmoe's mouth. God he laughed at everything. No matter how deep of shit he was in he could laugh his ass off at their comments. Yeah i could too because some of the shit they said was about as intelligent as my roommate barry. Alright if i think of anything else to write I will post it.........lol
If you have not read the other posts, start at the bottom of the page!!!!!!!!
As soon as you are through with Freshman hell, you will meet the next batch of vultures. (There is only but one teacher to respect at the Valley Band Department. He is now leaving. That was Mr. Long.) Now you will have Garmoe, Classen and Bernie. Anywho, Mrs. Roxanne Classen is the next person you will meet and become very "close" to at the beginning of you sophomore year. A medium height but very skinny woman who could pass as anorexic. She has a very childish voice that is projected through a speaker loud enough that the deaf might hear her. She finds absolutely nothing funny unless you don't find it funny and she is the only one to laugh. She dresses very much like a squirrel, and that is why she is known by many students as the squirrel. A very obvious statement. She is the director of the marching band. She is known very well throughout the state and a great director and an outstanding musician. I am here to tell you the exact opposite. She is a terrible director that I have seen gain and lose anywhere from 10-25 clicks in tempo markings while she directed. She has no sense of rhythm and has no more talent at playing woodwind instruments than a fifth grader learning for the very first time. Her choices in music for marching are things not to be desired. Her humor is as shallow as a dried up lake and is seen in your everyday contact with her. She is a terrible public speaker that relies on all of the other directors to help get a point across. She well nag and nag to try and get her points across but never succeeds. It will go on and on through you high school career. Throughout my junior year and some of my senior year I was nagged by the chewing of the squirrel's teeth. She tried to bring me down and find out what I was doing wrong, while in fact, it was the Valley Band Department that came under very close observation from the administration of Valley. Not me. This is the problem with the band department. They think they are all perfect little angels but infact they are the spawn of Satan. Classen is not as easy to critique as Bird. She doesnt have as bad of habits plus I didn't get the "pleasure" of being close to her and in her band for three years. I was with her one year and that was enough. So I do not have as much dirt on her. Bird I was with one year as well and you can tell that he is much easier to bring down. The next chapter will be Mr. Tony Garmoe, I bet you cant wait..........................
You begin band at the tender age of 11. You are in 5th grade and have not come close to the world ahead. Progress is slow, accompanied by mass amounts of practice. You gradually increase in skill and soon enough, you are in Junior High. Many good things happen in Junior High, you meet new people and your skills at your instrument begin to grow so much more. 8th grade rolls around and your parents are as surprised as you with your vast improvements. Then comes the vaunted Valley Southwoods. A brutal place to go through with an enclosed life style and bad teachers, life takes a turn for the worse. You meet the band director, the over weigh, nasally voiced Mr. Bird (The Fat Man). A massive man weighing no less then 300 lbs, standing around 5’10”, and a stomach that acts as an armrest. He treats you horribly with crappy jokes and shitty music. You sit ever day for 40 minutes. Plus watching his lackluster directing, his triple chins move in and out of visibility, and his fat roll around his belt. His shoes resemble those of a 5-year-old kid, although I highly doubt he has seen his feet in ten plus years, and his choice of sports jacket and a dress shirt that are JUST a bit to small, and gives you the image of another 5 year old that just won’t let his wardrobe expire to the level of garage sale. You think of quitting, of having one more free period; however you have never quit anything in your life. What to do? Band sucks; you hate it more than the school, and then you realize you have a lesson with the Fat Man. Mr. Bird is waiting in his office. The box of Krispy Kreme no more than a finger tip away from his enormously fat hand. The site, the smell, and the thought of putting up with this shit for an entire year is unbearable. Then the light hits you with the force of a train. Valley High School Band department is still to come. This thought you push to the back of you mind. You get through the Fat Man and you enjoy your summer. But just wait it gets better…………… To Be Continued
